Hairless

For some reason that I do not quite understand, electric razors for women are shelved with the disposable kind in health and beauty, and the men's ones are in the home electronics section. At least, that's the way they are at my local Target. I was actually shopping for a men's electric razor, but for myself. The womens' ones are crap. I don't think that the manufacturers really believe that women buy them, or the reasons why.

I cannot shave my legs with a regular razor--not in the shower, not in the bathtub, not dry, not with any sort of shaving cream/gel I have ever seen. It hurts, it cuts, and I get razor burn (nothing is sexier than pink-polka dotted legs). The fancy creams tend to make me break out in a rash (itchy, red, polka-dotted legs). Nair and similar products might take some hair off of someone, but not the hair off my legs. And, for the record, just because I'm blonde on top of my head doesn't mean that my lower leg hair won't show up. It used to be a nice, fine, white fuzz, until I turned like 10.

I have tried a home waxing kit once. I got through about half of one leg before I was in too much pain to continue. I have seriously considered setting an appointment at a salon, and getting drunk first. But I'm not sure that drunk and in pain is a better route to beauty (or at least social acceptance). Laser hair removal sounds like a lovely idea...whenever I have a couple of extra thousand $ laying around and free time on my hands, I might try it.

I have used a men's Norelco brand razor (the kind with the 3 round heads) for years, but my most recent model is a cordless one that will not run on the cord. And it will no longer charge enough to actually finish shaving even a single leg. My husband recently replaced his old one, which was a corded or cordless razor. Unfortunately, its cord stopped working altogether.

So last night, I found myself perusing the shelves of men's electric razors. They had like 4 models that were less than $100 (I didn't even look at the $200 one...for that price I could have a couple of wax jobs and some good champagne). The first was $30 and was only corded. I had one like that before, and since the cords are like 6" long, you have to be a bit of a contortionist to get your leg onto the bathroom sink where the razor will reach. Some days, you're just not feeling that flexible. They had a $60 one that was just cordless. Wrong answer--that's the same trouble I had with my last one. This particular model also dispensed lotion while you shave. I'm sure that's an appealing feature to someone, somewhere, but shaving lotion problems helped drive me to this aisle in the first place. I ended up with the $90 version that is corded or cordless, and can be rinsed out in running water in the sink. It did not come with the monstruous dunk-tank cleaning system that the more expensive models have (and my husband has...that thing takes up half the counter), and I'm ok with that. I don't know what the $200 one did...probably steamed your dress shirt and polished your shoes or something.

In anycase, my legs are sufficiently hair free for public viewing this morning, or at least for going to work in a skirt.