Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Great green gobs of greasy grimy...

What is with the preponderance of "sliders" on restaurant menus? Who thought that it was a good idea?

I’m not a White Castle fan. In case you hadn’t guessed. Their food has never appealed to me—it doesn’t even smell good. Not even when I'm really hungry. Never has. I used to think it was because the burgers were onion-y, but I like onions. Bad for the breath, but those things are sweet and tasty, especially when caramelized and/or combined with peppers a la Tex Mex food. I don't know what White Castle does to their onions, or their burgers, to make that combination unappealing, but they are wildly successful at keeping me away.

The idea of food that "slides" down one's throat, presumably without the need to chew, is highly unappetizing. Repulsive. Yucky. Thanks, but I have teeth, and I prefer to taste and not just gulp my food.

So why do perfectly sane restaurants think they need to imitate slimy, foul-smelling food? I know that what they're really selling is mini-sandwiches, not even burgers necessarily. Yesterday I saw "French dip sliders" on a menu, including crusty bread and au jus. In the menu photo, the sandwiches didn't look like anything that would slide anywhere. But I couldn't even consider ordering them. It’s the name. I don't like my roast beef slippery.

I hope this trend crashes and burns. Soon. Most slick ingredients are heavily grease-based, and we all know how well oil and flames go together.

1 comment:

HiddenChicken said...

I, too, am a White Castle hater. I had a bit once when I was pregnant with Ragsy (it was the Saturday before he was delivered - I don't know why I remember that) and I've never had one since.

It'd be nice if the restaurants could just call them "mini-burgers" or some cutesy branded name - anything less, ah, descriptive. I had sliders at Fridays and they were pretty good, but the name was definitely off-putting.