Give me drugs

I thought LATCH systems were supposed to make carseats easier to install, not harder. Or maybe they make them safer. Or easier to install safely. In any case, the little metal anchors in my car are a pain in the neck. I would say "pain in the ass", as I'm not averse to such language, but my ass is about the only part that doesn't feel pain while I"m installing the dumb things. No, it's busy mooning anyone looking through the front windshield, and bumping random articles out of the driver seat-back pocket.

The stupid little metal anchors in between my seats are buried like six feet below the car, and my lovely high-quality leather seats don't budge to allow my fingers through, let alone fingers in wedding rings bearing a large metal clasp. I'm surprised I haven't lost a finger or at least my engagement ring diamond in there yet.

In order to properly attach a carseat to the car, it is supposed to be tied down so tightly that it almost doesn't move. The only way I've found to do this is to sit my knee on the seat and basically sit on it, tugging on the strap with all of my might to tighten. It doesn't help that Trystan's car seat buckle is on the passenger side of my car, where I have to either back the car out of the garage (and really moon the world while I roast in the sun, sweating through my shirt as I bitch about my discomfort to no one in particular), or I have to climb over Charlotte's seat. Lumpy plastic and I do not get along at such times. I bruise too easily to be bumping shins, knees and elbows on things. I need a bigger garage. Or body armor. That wouldn't help with the heat thing.

At least this morning, Char's seat was not in place. Hers spent the night in the house pending a cover wash, as she had an accident in it last night. No, honey, I cannot let you out of the car at the stoplight on Page at Schuetz to pee. Of course, this meant that I had to install her seat after Trystan's. Actually, hers was the only one out last night. Trystan has been alternating between rear-facing in my car and forward-facing in my husbands for about two weeks now. I suppose that's fair, as he alternately weighs 20.0 pounds and 19.4 pounds so he's really only heavy enough to face forward about half of the time.

I woke up this morning with one ear shooting flaming fire balls. Well, that is what I thought until I looked in the mirror. They must be invisible flaming fire balls. I had gone to sleep with a sore throat and sinus congestion that felt suspiciously like an infection. I think my sinuses are trying to implicate my ear to clear their name. After ibuprofin and sudafed, the pain has dulled to a dim sort of fog, and a pressure imbalance that feels like cracking a single window on the highway, and sounds like I'm riding an airplane over one of the engines. I'm sure this has nothing to do with my resentment towards carseats, however.